When Its Time To Change
Autumn turns to winter,
And winter turns to spring.
It doesn’t just go for the seasons you know,
It goes for everything.
Shakespeare? Tennyson? Whitman? Close - the Brady Bunch. You might recognize this as the opening verse of their most famous song, “Time to Change.” It was written for the episode where Peter’s teenage voice began to change, threatening the family’s upcoming appearance on a local TV talent show. You remember that one. It was a major crisis for the family, but – not to worry – in the end they were able to compete when they cleverly incorporated Peter’s pitchy voice into the song’s chorus that reminds us to welcome change as a necessary part of life and growth. Crisis averted. I’ll spare you the Sha-na-nas.
The song may be a little corny and devoid of any deep theology, but it does make a good point. We cannot live or grow without experiencing change. The Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, is credited with saying, “the only constant is change” and how much more so for Methodist pastors and their families. As you know, this past week our Senior Pastor, Dr. Alan McBride, announced his appointment to another church in our Conference. He and Karen will be leaving NUMC this summer, and they will be sorely missed.
As hard as it is to accept, change is not just inevitable. It is necessary. I know that in my head, but when faced with news like Alan’s departure, I soon realize the concept has not fully made the short eighteen-inch drop to my heart. So, like many of you it is something I have to process to find a continued confidence in Providence and a happy reassurance in our God’s trustworthiness. The most positive way for me to process this kind of news is to consider (1) occasions in our recent past that brought a need for change and (2) how God always used these circumstances to take us to a better place than where we started. I hope you will indulge me as I offer for your consideration three such occasions where we were broken spiritually, functionally, and physically and desperately needed change.
Let’s start with Alan. When he reported for work here, NUMC was a broken church – a family sharply divided. For months prior to his arrival, we had been caught up in a silly fight over temporal things and for some crazy reason we thought our disagreements could be resolved by a majority vote of the Church Council. It didn’t work out too well. When the votes were cast and a single, solitary vote separated the winners from the losers, Mark Munday took me aside and whispered words in my ear I will never forget – “Cal, we have failed to love people here tonight.” He was right, and the explosive division that followed proved him so. Our fighting had left us spiritually broken, and it was time to change.
That year, Alan McBride was appointed as our new Senior Pastor. Ed Bush and I had the privilege of meeting him for the first time at Annual Conference, where he invited us to dinner. I have told the story of this dinner many times, but it is worth telling again now because – in my opinion – it is a story of God’s great love for us and an event that will stand forever as a watershed moment for our church.
Not long into our meal and still reeling from the politics that had just crushed our body, I asked Alan a really stupid question. Consumed with finding a modern leadership solution that would bring us all back together, I asked, “Alan, what is your agenda for our church?” His answer could not have been more Christ-like if he had kneeled down to scribble in the dirt. He said, “Cal, I think I’m going to come over there and just love on people.” He was true to his word and before long, he had literally loved this broken church back together.
We still have disagreements, but we also enjoy a much greater unity - especially about the ideas that really matter. We have a stronger consensus on mission and a more accommodating flexibility on methods. Alan was just the change we needed, but not the last we would see.
Not long into Alan’s tenure, the COVID-19 pandemic crippled everything in our culture, including our ministry to this community. At the time, our church model, like most everyone else’s, was dependent on people actually being here on Sunday mornings to worship, take communion, share tithes and offerings, and minister to one another. Well, that model wasn’t going to work anymore. Now what? The pandemic had left us functionally broken, and it was time to change.
Our church leaders prayed and scrambled to redesign our systems and implement innovative technologies that would not only get us through the immediate crisis but would also deliver a new suite of capabilities for expanding our reach far beyond the Emerald Coast. Today, by God’s grace, our worship services are viewed on-line in time zones that span the globe. The Lord also used the pandemic to test and strengthen both our resolve and our ability to answer his call to be the light, life, and love of Jesus Christ in a hurting and broken world no matter the circumstances. What the enemy meant for harm; God has used for a greater good than we even knew was possible. Everything changed, and we dramatically changed with it, but we still weren’t finished.
Just as we were getting back to in-person services, Hurricane Sally blew into town and devastated our aging church facilities. There was damage to every building on our campus and more than $2 million worth of repairs were needed for the sanctuary alone. We were still only limping back from COVID-19 and now Sally had left us physically broken and, you guessed it, it was time to change. Once again, we rallied around our gracious Lord and one another, having been strengthened by the unifying love of a great pastor and our victorious response to an unimaginable global crisis. We formed a task force with Romans 8:28 as our driving theme - “in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” It was long two-year struggle, but in the end, God used this crisis to make significant repairs and improvements to all of our facilities, including a total remodeling of our beautiful sanctuary – just in time for a new generation of believers to call it home. He turned what could have been a tremendous setback into a significant step forward in preparing our campus for the people and work he will continue to bring our way.
I thank God NUMC is no stranger to change. Each time we have stood before the gale of uncertainty, we have emerged on the other side stronger, closer, and better than ever. I have never seen our church more committed to the mission than we are right now. Building on what we have recently faced, we are boldly stepping forward with new leaders, new strategies, new facilities, and a new resolve to bring the love and grace of Christ to the world around us.
In the midst of all this progress, the prospect of Alan moving on now leaves us heart broken, and – like it or not – it’s once again time to change. I don’t think any of us can predict what that change will look like for us, for Alan, or for Shalimar UMC, but based on history and the promise of scripture, I feel confident in saying it will be good for everyone. As I have processed the news in this way, God has lifted from me the burden of wasting time entertaining my worst fears and most dreaded outcomes. I hope it will do the same for us as a church. I think it would honor God for us to dwell not on how the change will impact who we are today, but instead eagerly and obediently respond to whatever change he brings to make us into the church He wants us to be. Just like the Brady kids tried to teach us fifty years ago (and every day since in syndication) …
When it’s time to change (when it’s time to change),
Don’t fight the tide, go along for the ride, don’t you see?
When it’s time to change, it’s time to rearrange
Who you are and what you’re gonna be!
Oh, what the heck…
Shana na na na na nana na – shana na na na.
Shanna na na na na na na na – shana na na na.
Grace and Peace, my friends!
The Return Department
Setting – A clerk mans the desk of the Return Department
Customer: Hi, is it too early to return these New Year’s resolutions?
Clerk: Were they unrealistic or just soul-crushingly awful?
Customer: Does it matter?
Clerk: Of course not! Next in line…
Customer 2: Is it possible to return this negative self-talk?
Clerk: Did you get it from here?
Customer 2: No, I’m pretty sure I picked it up on social media.
Clerk - as she feels around the bags: Let’s see… “I should not eat carbs” and… “I don’t deserve dessert.”
Customer 2: How’d you know?
Clerk: A lot of people are returning these. They’re very unpopular. Next…
Customer 3: Can I return this love-hate relationship with cookies?
Clerk: Do you want to return them both, or just the hate?
Customer 3: I can return just the hate?
Clerk: Yeah!
Customer 3: I love that! I hate the hate.
Clerk: Hate the hate!
If you are a TV watcher, like me, you will recognize these interactions as the scripts from the newest series of Weight Watchers commercials. I love them, all! My first job after college, was working the desk at the Wilbro Customer Service counter in Dothan, Alabama, where I heard every reason imaginable for wanting to return a recent purchase. Wilbro policy was simple. If the customer wants a refund or exchange, just give it to them. No hassles at all. We were as cheerful and as helpful as the clerk in these commercials.
Still, customers always seemed to feel the need to offer a good reason for the return that would not reflect poorly on their own choices. In all the time I worked there, not one customer ever said to me, “I made a mistake buying this” or “I was impulsive and have now decided I don’t need it” or “I really can’t afford this.” Many customers walked up to counter, loins fully girded, as if they were expecting a confrontation. You could tell some of them had been rehearsing their story in the car all the way to the store and practicing for the inevitable escalation of the conflict should we give them any trouble about it. Maybe they had been to other stores where the policy wasn’t so forgiving. Maybe they just carried a little sense of shame to the counter with their return item. Whatever the reason, it was not necessary, and I always took great pleasure in their stunned looks as we cheerfully took the items they didn’t want and peacefully handed over their refunds – the very same looks of relief and surprise we see from the customers in these commercials.
Of course, it all reminds me of church. Oh, come on, you knew it was coming eventually! These commercials tap into a basic need in people to acknowledge and recover from their mistakes and poor choices AND the need for a place where the “associates” understand this happens to everyone AND where there is a process and a policy that can make things right again. We have all of that at church, or at least we should. For all the good we do in our community meeting financial and physical needs, I think our Return Department is the greatest service we can possibly offer anyone.
Isaiah understood this, very well. He tells us in Isaiah 61:3 that the Lord appointed him to seek out those who mourn and trade them beauty for their ashes, oil of joy for their mourning, and a garment of praise for their spirit of heaviness.
What better mission for us to be on during this season of Lent – a time of year we set aside to acknowledge and even to mourn over our sin? I would expect this should be the busiest time of year for our Return Department, which I should also tell you, is equipped to handle much more than just our sin. Our associates understand there many other returns you need to make. Our grief, our betrayals, our depression and anxiety, our finances, our illnesses, our concern for our children, our jobs, and many other things can produce artifacts in our lives we need to return.
People in our community need to know our Return Department is open 24/7 and the boss is always on duty. (If you haven’t already guessed, its Jesus.) His mission and passion is to take whatever we bring off our hands and give us something better in exchange. I heard in a great song once He is available “anywhere we choose to bow.” No need for elaborate stories or fancy excuses. We can leave it all with Him with no judgement. And if you prefer to visit a brick-and-mortar location, our pastor has arranged for the altar of our sanctuary to be open every day during Lent. If you would like for someone to pray with you, we can arrange that, as well.
If that were something we wanted to advertise to our church and our community, our commercial might go something like this:
Setting - Jesus manning the desk of the Return Department;
Prodigal walking up to the desk: I would like to return this reckless living.
Jesus: Not really working out for you, huh?
Prodigal: No, not really. There were a lot of attractive things out there I thought would make me happy, but they didn’t.
Jesus: Yeah, I’m seeing a lot of that this Millennium. Of course, I’ll take back the reckless living. What would you like in exchange for it.
Prodigal: I really just want to go back to my father’s house and work as one of his servants.
Jesus: Well, I think we can do better than that but let me make a quick call.
Jesus hanging up the phone: Yes, go ahead and find your way home, Son. Your father is waiting for you on the road. He has ordered his servants to bring you his best robe, a ring for your finger, and new shoes for your feet. Later today, he will kill the fatted calf and throw a great party in your honor and declare to everyone, “My son was dead, but is alive again. He was lost and is found!”
Prodigal: OMG! Thank you, so much!
Jesus: You are very welcome! Next in line…
Our boss is always able “to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think.”
Joy for your mourning.
New lives for old.
Beauty for ashes.
You are not going to find a better deal anywhere!
Grace and peace, my friends.
Just A Drop In The Bucket List
There are many for whom a bucket list is a place where great hopes are kept alive - a compilation of adventures that, once experienced, would bring meaning and fulfillment to our finite lives. For some, however, they turn out to be the butt cans of life where the embers of our dreams go to be slowly extinguished. For most of my life, I have never consciously considered keeping a bucket list - even after seeing the movie - until I got very close to retirement. I just never felt the need for it.
During the course of my very privileged life, I have seen many dreams come true. I found Christ and redemption at the tender age age of 15, married my high school sweetheart at 19; served my country as an Air Force enlisted man, officer, and government contractor for forty-five years; rose to the top of the corporate ranks; set foot on most of the civilized world; and found my forever home on Florida’s Emerald Coast. Whatever dreams might have been fodder for a bucket list, I had already been living out every day. “Living the dream” could be the title of my biography, and yet there was always that one wish that would not stop bouncing around in the back of mind – learning to fly.
I have been a student of general aviation since I was 27 years old, when I enrolled in my first flight school at the Eglin AFB Aero Club in 1985. I took my first solo flight at Bob Sikes Airport in Crestview that same year, but soon after I put flying on the back burner, as my wife, Susan - a new mom - put her foot down about this “dangerous” expensive hobby.
During the course of the next 37 years, I intermittently trained at three different flight schools, but the rigors of my jobs, business travel, and the expense of flying always seemed to keep me on the ground. As an Air Force officer, I applied for pilot training four times, but was never accepted because of childhood allergies I have long-regretted disclosing. When I left the Air Force to become a government contractor, the dream of flying went with me and I logged more than one and a half million miles on Delta Airlines, unfortunately, none of them from the cockpit.
Then I retired, and I wondered if I might finally be able to pull this off. I started checking out flight schools in our area, but never found anyone who seemed to take seriously the idea of some 61-year old fool learning to fly. It was a little discouraging, until I remembered that episode of the Andy Griffith Show where Aunt Bea took flying lessons. I figured if she could do it, so could I. So, I trudged ahead and discovered AMS Flight School at Peter Prince Airport in Milton, Florida, where they took me very seriously and connected me with two great instructors who would ultimately lead me through the two courses of study for my Private Pilot Certificate and my Instrument Rating.
The requirements to become a pilot aren’t really all that daunting. You must be at least seventeen years old. Check. You must be proficient in English. I am from Alabama, but still, check. You must take a ground school course and fly forty or more hours, most with an instructor but some solo, some at night and some cross country. Check. You must pass a physical given by an FAA-licensed medical examiner. Hmm, I was really close on this one. Just needed to lose weight, get my blood pressure under control, lower my blood sugar, change my allergy medicines, buy new glasses and replace one knee. Add in the interruptions of Covid and hurricane Sally and it took about a year and a half and a hundred flying hours to obtain my coveted license - about twice as many as the average student – but I got it.
So, bucket list empty, right? After all, when I started this adventure, the one drop in my bucket list was simply to fulfill the lifelong dream of becoming a pilot. By the time I did, however, I found many new droplets had formed. So, I am back at AMS working on my Commercial Pilot’s Certificate, and I hope to spend my retirement years teaching people to fly. I have a long way to go and so much more to learn but, in my opinion, that’s one of the greatest benefits of flying.
If there is one consistent lesson I have learned about flying it is this - you never stop being a student. It’s what I love most about it. If you are like me, you will find the most frightening prospect of taking up the rocking chair is the lost challenge of learning new skills and forging new trails. When we stop learning, we stop living. As the unknown philosopher reminds us, “Adventure may hurt you, but monotony will kill you.”
That very same tag line can be applied to our Christian life. Despite its prominence on my bucket list, I did not retire so I could learn to fly. I retired so I could devote my full attention to our church, and God has allowed me to do just that for the past three and a half years. As I have grown older, I find my bucket list items are much less focused on me experiencing the world, and much more focused on me helping the world experience Christ. As I have grown in this direction, God has given me a new dream to pursue – one so large as to fill the entire bucket with a single drop. Acts 2:17 says, “In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams.” Well, this old man’s dream is to see the Church earn back the right to be the first place where people seek answers to their problems.
Where will I start to pursue this dream? I think I’ll start in my own heart. Like many of you, I find elements of our culture very difficult to stomach and, like many of you, I don’t always respond to it in the most effective ways. That’s true - from my perspective - of the Church, as well. Andy Crouch, Author and Praxis Labs Partner for Theology, identifies four responses to the culture that have not only failed to bring about change, but have damaged the Church’s credentials to be the purveyor of Christ’s love and grace in the world.
The first is to condemn the culture. He calls this an “amazingly inert” option because condemnation never compels anyone to change. The second is to critique it – respond with ideas about how Christians should, and mostly should not, engage in the culture (don’t drink, don’t smoke, etc.). The problem is that critique is often based on analysis that is not universally accepted, so it is often ignored. The third is to copy it – wait for the world to do something and then come along and add a Jesus layer to it. The best example is probably Christian music, which is not a bad thing, but copying usually leaves the Church woefully behind the culture and always on the edge of irrelevance. The last and most pervasive response today is simply to consume it – accommodate the culture for our own pleasure and satisfaction, which only entrenches it further.
I am determined to put these responses behind me – to stop screaming at the TV when sin is celebrated in my face, to stop telling others how they should live, to stop appropriating the world’s methods and standards in an attempt to be relevant, and stop consuming the very things I want to see disappear in the world. Instead, I want to make a greater effort to mirror Jesus, bless people, renew the culture, and die to self. It seems to me the best first step toward changing the culture and restoring the Church to its intended place among humanity is for me as an individual to exercise the power God has given each of us through our creation in His likeness to create new elements of culture that will promote His purposes and to cultivate those that already do.
So, I guess it’s true after all - revival starts in me. God didn’t just give me a pilot’s certificate. He gave me the desire for it, along with the determination and strength to change and do my part to earn it. In that same way and by His grace, I have, as Elvis Presley once said, “lived every dream I have ever had a hundred times.” I expect the same will be true for this dream. It's a big dream I know, but I have a big bucket and an even bigger God.
Cal Vandivier is the head of our finance committee, a lay delegate to our Annual Conference, and a licensed pilot.
The Attitude Indicator
“God help us, we’re in the hands of engineers!” This exclamation from character, Dr. Ian Malcolm, sums up in one sentence the entire premise of Michael Crichton’s bestselling book and blockbuster movie, Jurassic Park. It is also something that crosses my mind every time I buckle into my Cessna 182. Crichton wrote the book as an extreme repudiation of an erroneous attitude within the science and business communities that extols the power of engineering to control the natural world and demonstrates what he referred to as an unhealthy “lack of humility before nature.”
Pilots understand this premise. Even in its most basic form, flying is simply one way we apply engineering discipline to collaborate with, and even control, nature. Our instrument panels are packed with dials, gauges, and readouts that offer us instant feedback on how that collaboration is going at any given moment. In direct contradiction to approved Jedi training techniques, pilots are taught to trust our instruments – not our feelings. We are also taught, the most important instrument to routinely check is our attitude indicator. On the panel, this is the instrument that tells us in real-time our relationship to the horizon in three dimensions. You may have heard it referred to as the “artificial horizon.” With one glance at this instrument we can instantly know if we are straight and level, climbing, descending, or banking in either direction. Armed with this information, we can make whatever attitude adjustments are needed to maintain control. It is a very important instrument, but if we could ask Crichton, I suspect he would suggest to us that our most important attitude indicator is the one that monitors what is going on in that space between our headsets.
Aviators are taught to consider five hazardous mental attitudes that can influence our judgement and decision making. I think you’ll agree, they have a much broader application outside of aviation.
The first is an anti-authority attitude. With this attitude, we might tend to believe rules, regulations, and safety procedures don’t apply to us. It might cause a pilot to ignore his checklists or disobey air traffic controllers. For the rest of us, it might mean not taking meds as prescribed, violating company policy, or even breaking the law.
Next is the impulsivity attitude, which prevents us from taking a moment to think through a situation before we act. With this attitude, we will be more likely to do the first thing that comes to mind. Reacting too quickly to circumstances can lead to irrational decisions, such as rushing to fly home despite inclement weather, responding harshly to an email or text that offends us, or chewing out that poor pharmacy technician at Publix who is just trying to do her job.
Third is the invulnerability attitude – the one that says “it won’t happen to me.” Many of us act as if we believe accidents or illness only happen to other people. The attitude is dangerous because it causes us to ignore risks to our safety and wellness. With this attitude, pilots might try to fly beyond their abilities or someone we love might keep pushing off that overdue colonoscopy.
Fourth is an attitude commonly referred to as macho. This attitude will cause us to take unnecessary and unmitigated risks to prove ourselves and impress others. No, it’s not just a guy thing, either. We are all susceptible to it when we might be overconfident in our abilities or perhaps in those circumstances when our inhibitions have been chemically diminished.
Finally, there is the resignation attitude. If we allow this attitude to develop we may lack the confidence and conviction we need to believe we can make a difference in what happens to us. This attitude is manifested in a tendency to give up easily when challenged by difficult circumstances. It is an especially dangerous attitude for those of us who are ill, desperate, or otherwise threatened because it may lead us to believe we are helpless and cause us to resign to our fate instead of taking action.
Experience and age are great teachers. Whether we fly or not, if we live long enough in this world we will learn attitude is everything. Some people will learn it the hard way during a spontaneous adventure that begins with the statement, “Hold my beer!” Others by realizing they have allowed their own frustrations and emotions to hurt someone else unnecessarily. However we get there, one of the best gifts Christians can offer the world is the steadiness and confidence that comes from learning how to monitor and manage our attitudes. It is what the world sees as wisdom, and if we are going to offer this gift to others, we must daily avail ourselves of its power in our own lives.
In his book, Maintaining Your Grip, Charles Swindoll says, “The single most significant decision I can make on a day-to-day basis is my choice of attitude. It is more important than my past, my education, my bankroll, my successes or failures, fame or pain, what other people think of me or say about me, my circumstances, or my position. Attitude is the ‘single string’ that keeps us going or cripples our progress. It alone fuels our fire or assaults our hope. When our attitudes are right, there are no barriers too high, no valleys too deep, no dreams too extreme, and no challenge too great for us.”
How do we know when our attitudes are right? Writing to the church at Philipi from a prison cell in Rome, the apostle Paul offers each of us our own little personal attitude indicator. “Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ.” (Philippians 1:27). Pretty simple. Our conduct reflects our attitude. If my conduct is not worthy of the gospel of Christ, I need to make some attitude adjustments – preferably while that conduct is still just a thought and not an action that cannot be undone.
One sure sign of Christian maturity is the realization that God’s ultimate goal for us is not pleasure or comfort, but an attitude of godliness in all circumstances. Paul tells us, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2).
God has engineered and given each of us the tools we need to recognize and manage our attitudes, but it requires a continuous process of transformation to develop and upgrade the mental gauges that tell us what adjustments are needed to maintain control. If we will make that effort, He will keep us on course. So, take it from an old dinosaur, learn to trust those instruments - especially that attitude indicator.
Cal Vandivier is the head of our finance committee, a lay delegate to our Annual Conference, and a licensed pilot.