Waiting For God Knows What

Sometimes we feel like we’re always in a cycle of waiting for something – doctor’s appointments, bathroom lines, finding the right job, finding the right person….  We all have areas in our lives where we are waiting for something to happen.  All of us go through those periods, but in those moments we may begin to ask ourselves:

“What should I be doing differently?”

“Did I miss my chance?”

“Why is this happening to me?”

“Is there some kind of sin or shortcoming in my life that is keeping me from achieving what I desire?”

I think most of us handle waiting in one of two ways:

Dwelling on the Past

Some of us mourn over times when things were better. We can enter a dark place that feels like we’ll never see the bright side in things ever again. This often can lead to depression and a feeling that nothing good will happen ever again.

Anxiety About the Future

Some of us may take a different extreme and begin to become anxious – especially if what we’re waiting for has a correlation with our livelihood.  Many of us become anxious when we have to wait for something for a really long time.  At this point we begin to dwell too much on those questions that creep in our heads.

In these moments we forget how to recognize God.  We forget what He’s done for us in the past. The writer of Hebrews reminds us in Hebrews 11:1-3:

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.”

There are times in life when we are not going to see how a particular trial or circumstance is going to help us grow; or better yet, when that trial is finally going to come to an end. I’m reminded about how Job dealt with so much strife and loss, never really understanding the purpose of it while he was going through those trying times. Never knowing when things were finally going to get better. It’s the open-ended waits that are the hardest to deal with – the most frustrating.  It is easy to get impatient with our waits.  As we think about resolving our wait, the worst thing possible happens: The wait becomes interminable – incapable of ending.

The big question is: “How do I make it through my waiting period with enough patience that is healthy and that honors God?”  But for many of us the question is: “How can I make this wait end quickly without messing things up?”

We must remember these periods of waiting are helping us grow. And that is a difficult lesson to learn in our instant gratification culture. The world of digital social media, fast food, and 2-day Amazon shipping conditions us to have a “gotta have it now” mentality.

I think now more than ever God is teaching us to just be present in our circumstances. Psalm 46 reminds us that God is our refuge in times of trouble, and that God is telling us to “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” In Matthew 6:25-34, Jesus reminds us that we are cared for daily, and worrying about what the future holds will not add a single hour to our lives.

As with all circumstances in our lives, everything comes to pass. God is still ever present in our times of need, even when it doesn’t seem like it. May God give His peace that goes beyond all understanding; and may we seek His Kingdom first above all else.

2021, A Retrospective

Another year has come and gone. Forgive me for going the predictable route and doing a retrospective of the year. 2021 feels like it has flown by, until I start to think about everything that happened in the year. Exactly one year ago we were taking things out of the sanctuary in preparation for the renovation. I’d have to look back to be sure, but I think the very first Sunday of 2021 was our very first Sunday worshiping back in Hildreth Hall. At the time, we had no idea how long the process was going to take. Our first contractors were telling us we would be out of the sanctuary only a few weeks and that we could still worship in there under the scaffolding. If you saw what eventually took place in our sanctuary, you might have a better idea why we sought after another contractor. However, because there were so many unknowns surrounding the timeline, we had to prepare for a quick transition and for a longer period of displacement at the same time.
              There were many, many heated conversations about worshiping in Hildreth. In most other years, we would have been able to worship in Hildreth with minimal controversy. However, we were (and still are) in the middle of a pandemic. Our options were to worship in Hildreth, find another location off campus, or do virtual church only. People were passionate about each of those, and while there were disagreements about which option was best the heart of everything was how do we best reach people for Christ while doing all we can to protect our congregants. The off campus option would potentially allow us to safely accommodate the most in-person worshipers, but the number of venues in Navarre that are available for that, along with the initial cost of buying portable equipment (trailer, speakers, cabinets, lights, etc.) and the extreme toll on volunteers to set up and tear down each week meant that it wasn’t a great option for us. That left online only versus in-person in Hildreth. Instead of making it an either/or option we did a both/and. We continued to live stream our services and do in-person worship. The leadership’s stance was that we will do everything we can to make it as safe as possible inside Hildreth, but we fully understand and encourage people to worship with us online if they are uncomfortable, and especially if they are at risk or sick themselves.
              It wasn’t a popular decision. After the first test run of putting chairs up there were a lot of concerns about if we would be able to safely seat everyone. We set up an overflow room, had a backup plan over in Taylor, and had more contingencies in place. The one thing that gave us hope was a sense of returning to our roots. Hildreth Hall was the original sanctuary on our campus, for our long term members it brought back a flood of memories. At the time, some were still hopeful that we would only be there for a couple of weeks.
              Then reality set in. Our sanctuary was in worse shape than many of us initially thought, and the scope of work kept growing. In the middle of February it became clear that instead of the 4-6 week range the original contractors had falsely promised, we were looking at a 4-6 month process. I’m not going to say that that realization deflated the leadership, but it sure made it more difficult to be excited about what all was really happening. Bruce Flannigan with Re:Done Renovations was our on-sight contractor and an absolute God send. Nathan Butterfield, our general contractor, and owner of All-Star Restoration along with Bruce were the best people we could have asked to work with. Not only were they extremely understanding and cooperative with all the legal and insurance aspects, but they also donated their personal time and money to support our church.
              We finally got back into the sanctuary in July. In the six months of worship in Hildreth, we only had to cancel one service due to Covid. It was a precautionary measure and no one that I’m aware of traced their infection back to our church. The first big thing we got to do in our new sanctuary was host VBS for the first time since 2019. As always there was an extra element we had to work around but we saw around 100 kids on campus that week and had a phenomenal group of volunteers. For the first time in almost 18 months things felt almost normal again. Then school started back, our new Children and Youth director got all the programs going again, and we got to where we are now. Almost normal.
              You see, we aren’t back to the days of pre-covid. Our in person worship is roughly half of what is was before March 2019. Our budget is around $100,000 less as well. With each new variant we have to assess what our steps will be. There will continue to be challenges ahead, but in the midst of everything we still have so much to be thankful for and to celebrate. The Good Neighbor Thrift store is setting records almost every single week. Under the leadership of Laura Beth Snow they are bringing in more money, customers, and donations than ever before. And they are doing this open fewer days a week than in 2019. And while we celebrate those records, what it really means is that we have more money to help We Care and the food pantry. These ministries support or community in so many untold ways. If you ever want to see direct life change because of our church, volunteer there and see what a difference we can make.
              Our Preschool managed to pay all of it’s staff throughout the entire pandemic and only had to fully shut down one time for two weeks. They have a wait list of over 70 kids who would love to be in the program, but we have maxed out our building’s capacity. While several other preschools in our area have shut down permanently, had several outbreaks, and struggle to keep teachers, we have only had staff leave because spouses received a PCS. Churches from all over the NW portion of our state reach out to us for ways to improve their programs. The bottom line is we have over one hundred families pay us for their kid to be on our campus and learn about Jesus (along with their numbers and letters).
              There are so many more things that we can see God doing in and through our church. I can’t list them all or even give them justice if I tried. There are bright days ahead, and if we could make it through this past year we can make it through anything.

Song Remembers When

Song Remembers When

There is an old saying that states, “You might not remember what the Pastor said, but you will remember what song you sang.” There is a lot of truth in that statement for me at times. Music has been the mainstay of my life since I was 12 years old. There are moments in my life that I remember exactly where I was and what songs were playing, such as the day Elvis died.  When the song “One More Night” by Phil Collins plays, it takes me back to a snow-covered town in the middle of February in Canada.

I remember sitting in Willow Creek Church and hearing Chris Tomlin saying he had just written a song last night and he wanted to do it for us, and it was "How Great Is Our God."

I am sure there are songs that take you back to a certain time in your life that trigger a memory. I was asked a few months ago if I remember any specific night playing music on the road that stands out. Of all the nights, I remember a night in Melbourne, Florida in a club that seated 1,000 people.  It was a Tuesday night and there might have been 25 people there. I remember we had just hired a new guitar player for the band. We played the best 1-hour set we had ever played, and we played as if there were 1,000 people there, but as I said, there were only 25. When we finished the set, the guitar player said, "Man, I cannot wait to see what happens with a full house." We did not know it at the time, but a booking agent was one of the 25 people in there that night. He began booking us the next week.

You never know what is in front of you if you don’t open your eyes and realize, this is the hand you have been dealt and make the most of it. God will show up and bless you when you least expect it, with abundance.

I look back on those times and realize there were many days that were not the best at all.  We stayed in hotel rooms that I would not let my dog sleep in, we were hungry, poor, lonely, and were gone for months at a time.  I think about all the family gatherings and special occasions we missed.  At that time, there was such a passion for what we were doing. We were five guys on the road, living the dream (or a nightmare.) The drummer for the band and his wife recently came down and spent a week with Vicki and me. We have kept in touch over the 33 years it’s been since I left the road. He is a successful chicken farmer, owns a Pizza Inn, runs a sound production company, and has played drums for many country stars, including venues such as the Bridgestone Arena and the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville. We had a jam session while he was here, and we did songs that we have not done in 33 years, and we never missed a beat. Breaks, harmonies, and structures of songs we did without even blinking. They are woven into our memory.

During this Holiday season will you look back and have the memories which are woven into your memory and smile? When there is a house full of family and the laughter is loud, take the time and weave that moment into your memory. It’s not just a song that remembers when, it’s the moments we choose to take in and not let pass by. God has placed all these memories in front of you, it’s your option to choose to see them.

Isaiah 60:2

“My Presence, My Glory brightens the world around you.”

God Bless, 

Mike

Grief and Persevering Love

This is going to be a tough one to write out. I apologize in advance if this is a difficult read for anyone struggling this season over the loss of a loved one, but this is something central to where I am in my spiritual journey - and I know I am not the only one. Holiday seasons can bring a lot of hope, joy, love, and fun; but for many it can also bring back reminders of people that we no longer have with us to enjoy this season with. One of those people is my dad. My dad was my rock, my superhero…always reliable, full of life, love, and fun. He was a one-of-a-kind pastor. At 69, he had the energy of kid and everyone who met him instantly became a new friend. Dad never met a stranger. 

Dad got sick with COVID during Thanksgiving. He was visiting my sister and I here in Navarre, and at 2am on that Thanksgiving morning he and mom drove to Gulf Breeze hospital because it was hard for him to breathe. They released him later that morning and said to come back if he gets worse. We celebrated Thanksgiving and decided to celebrate his 70th birthday (which is on November 29th) the next day so he and mom could drive back to Tallahassee in case he started to get worse.

It’s only when you look back on things that you see the finality in them. The last hug, the last words, the last laugh. You don’t know it when it happens, life isn’t always fair in that way. I was already having a really tough year, and during Thanksgiving (despite being sick) dad still wanted to make sure I was okay. He gave me a tight hug, chucked my chin, and said, “You got this.” That was last time I saw him awake.

The next few weeks were anything but festive. While the world began trying to have as normal of a Christmas season as it could, my family experienced the nightmare of having a loved one in the hospital with COVID. No one is allowed to visit the patient, so updates could only be made whenever we called the nurse’s station to get the latest on how he was doing. There was a point when I think Dad truly realized he wasn’t going to make it. We got a call from his cell phone (I think the nurse may have helped him) and he wanted to tell us that he loved us. “Take care of one another,” he said as we all fought back tears. That was the last time we heard him. Dad was put on a ventilator shortly after that and was never able to recover.

I do have one solace in the fact that by the time we all knew the inevitable was going to happen, we were able to visit him in the ICU – one at a time. Some say when you’re sedated the patient can still possibly hear you, so we made an effort to talk to him as much as we could. I will always remember those last precious moments with Dad. During one of my visits, I brought his Bible and the anointing oil he would use on people to pray over them when they were sick. I anointed his head and then read the entire Gospel of Matthew to him by his bedside. Despite it all, my family and I were blessed to be at his bedside when the ventilator was taken off and we heard his last few breaths. We played his favorite songs from the Gaither Vocal Band and allowed him to be carried to Jesus. It was also the most beautiful day outside, as if the heavens had opened up and the party started just for him.

Many have stories like this. And they are carrying a heavy burden this holiday season. Thanksgiving and Christmas will always have a tie to the experience I have with the loss of my dad. I’ve had to learn what grief is, but I do not lose hope. And if anything, that’s what this season is about: hope. I heard a quote from Marvel’s WandaVision show recently that has stuck with me: “What is grief, if not love persevering?” And in a way I think that line beautifully encapsulates the feelings I have over the loss of my dad. When I grieve, I am continually showing the deep love I have for him. The love I have for my dad perseveres. 

Christ’s love for us also perseveres. We are reminded during this time of the year that Christ is the hope of the world. The beautiful, peaceful babe born in a manger has come to give us hope. Despite the grief that God has with His people turning away from Him, His love perseveres. Despite Jerusalem rejecting its Savior at the time of the Messiah, His love perseveres. And it continues to persevere for us today. God sending his Son into the world is the ultimate sign of God’s persevering love for us. Grief is not something to necessarily avoid. In fact, some of the most beautiful, enlightening, and breathtaking art the world has ever seen or heard came from an overflow of grief. Our grief does not have to paralyze us. It can be used to create something new or motivate us. It was out of grief over His people turning away from Him that God sent his son Jesus into the world. His love for us was persevering when that tiny babe was wrapped in a manger. His love for us was persevering when that babe grew up to suffer for our sins and die on the cross. 

May that hope continue to strengthen us and bless us throughout the season and beyond.

Baby Its Cold Outside

It’s finally December, which means its officially Christmas music season on all the radio stations. Radio listeners will get to hear all the classics, the modern renditions of the classics, and the one or two new Christmas songs for the year. But one song you likely won’t hear on the radio this year, well at least the past few years, is Baby It’s Cold Outside. A few years ago radio stations pulled the song from their rotations and caused a huge controversy that keeps rearing it’s head every Christmas season. As a self admitted Grinch, I don’t even remember hearing the song before Will Farrell and Zooey Deschanel sang it in the movie Elf. So I was surprised that it had such a strong following to begin with, and then even more surprised that the song is over 50 years old and I was just oblivious to it for the majority of my life. 

Baby It’s Cold Outside has been around at least since Dean Martin sang it in 1959. A quick look at the lyrics will find no swear words, and what was considered pretty innocent flirting at the time. If we were using movie style ratings it would get a very mild PG, for implied alcohol consumption and kissing references (fully stretching with those). With next to nothing unclean in the song, why would a reasonable person ban the song from the radio? 

Even though it feels like an eternity ago, Baby It’s Cold Outside was banned in the later part of 2018. Two very important things happened before this. The first was that the #MeToo hashtag started at the end of 2017, and eventually became a movement in 2018. It gained even more attention after Harvey Weinstein was accused of sexual abuse by more than a dozen women. Moving into the Christmas season of 2018 there were a lot of open conversations about how common sexual abuse is. In this new environment, people started to realize that the seemingly innocent flirting in Baby It’s Cold Outside reflected several real world scenarios where a man wouldn’t take no for an answer and either by force or by coercion put women in situations they weren’t comfortable with (to put it mildly). In other words, it’s a song about a man continually badgering a woman who flat out says “The answer is no” and we label it as flirtatious. 

I realize that “badgering” is a bit on the strong side, especially in the context of the song and the way that it was intended to be interpreted (playful/flirtatious). However, we have to be aware that for far too many people, this brings back memories of truly horrific events that were not playful or flirtatious. The other side of all of this is what a “ban” of this song actually means. The way some people make it seem you would think that there are cries for the song to be removed from the face of the Earth. While there probably do exist some people who think that way, what the practice and main controversy entail is the removal of the song from radio playlists. What that means is that people are trying to eliminate the instances where the song will spontaneously play without the listener’s foreknowledge. You cans till find hundreds of versions of the song on Spotify, YouTube, and probably even CD (do people even buy CDs anymore?). In other words, it’s not a true ban, just not broadcasting it on a radio station where there is no “next” button. 

The bottom line is there are reasonable people on both sides of this argument. The song was intended to be innocent (well at least as innocent as two adults engaging in consensual relations can be) but it has real world implications that can make it very uncomfortable for thousands of people (on average there are 463,634 victims of rape and sexual assault each year). If you want to listen to the song, you have several avenues to listen to it any time you want. If you don’t want to listen to it, I’m glad that you won’t turn on the radio and hear it unwillingly.  

Of course, I wouldn’t complain if they banned all Christmas songs and movies, but I’m just a grinch that way.