When Love Becomes the Norm

The past two months have been a whirlwind of emotions. Not only was it Christmas (you probably already know how I feel about that), but my mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. There is rarely any good news with this type of cancer, and so far, my mom has not been the exception.

However, one of the things I have been incredibly thankful for throughout this entire process has been the support of our church, and especially my parents' church in Milton. I’m constantly reminded that people are praying for her, that we are loved, and that there are people here to help us with whatever we need. But my parents have been shown an entirely different level of support. Members of their small group have come and sat with her in the hospital. They’ve waited with my dad during surgery, brought food, ensured my dad went home and showered, and when they heard my sister was flying in, they catered a meal for us all to share.

I am beyond thankful for the love that their church has shown my parents. But the recurring thought I have is that this shouldn’t be surprising; it should be the norm. There are only two ways to get there.

The first is that our small groups need to be a place where people genuinely care for each other. That almost happens naturally just by spending an hour or two together each week, but going out to lunch after church or catching a game together on the weekend goes so much further in building those connections. My parents haven’t bragged about how the senior pastor stopped by (even though he has), but they can’t stop telling others about the laypeople who have taken the time to visit. Both types of visits are important in their own way, but one seems almost more obligatory and therefore not as special. Small groups are where you can truly build community and come together to support one another through the highs and lows of life.

That brings us to the second thing that must happen to get to this point. You must actually be in a small group. I know, it’s a radical idea. But unless you intentionally position yourself to be surrounded by people who will care for you, what hope do you have?

The hard part about small groups is that you don’t join them just so you have a support system or so you can help others. We do them to ultimately grow closer to God. But in the process, we form community, then support others in that community, and when the worst things in life come our way, we find ourselves being supported.

So, while I have appreciated and will always remember the love and support you all have shown me over the past few months, the best way to help at the moment is to make sure that everyone in our church is taken care of the same way. Invest in their lives. Invite them to your small group. Start your own small group. Then take care of each other the way you would want to be taken care of. Jesus may have said something about that at one point.