The Hidden Pitfalls
In the warm embrace of church small groups, where fellowship flourishes and friendships form, two silent dangers can quietly creep in: gossip and anger. Let's explore why these seemingly harmless behaviors can harm our spiritual community.
The Whispering Web of Gossip:
Gossip is like a spider weaving its web, slowly entangling everyone in its threads. In our small groups, gossip can start as a simple conversation but quickly grow into a harmful force. When we gossip, we spread rumors and half-truths, damaging trust and tarnishing relationships. Just as a web ensnares its prey, gossip entangles the unity that small groups strive to build. “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts.” (Proverbs 18:8 NIV)
The Fiery Flames of Anger:
Anger, like a wildfire, can quickly consume the peace within a small group. When tempers flare, communication breaks down, and harmony is replaced by discord. Anger hinders our ability to love and understand one another, making it difficult for our small groups to thrive in the spirit of cooperation.
The Ripple Effect on Relationships:
Gossip and anger don’t stay confined; they create a ripple effect, impacting the entire group. Friendships strain, and trust weakens, making it challenging for the small group to function as a supportive and nurturing community. It's essential to recognize the far-reaching consequences of these behaviors on our shared journey of faith.
The Importance of Open Communication:
To combat gossip and anger, open communication is key. Encouraging an environment where members feel safe expressing their thoughts and concerns helps prevent misunderstandings that may fuel gossip or anger. When we communicate openly, we build trust and strengthen the bonds that hold our small groups together. If your strife is towards another group, have the courage to seek out and discuss what is angering you so badly with the leader or persons of that group. Choosing to gossip and spread your anger towards another ministry or group - within your small group - only leads to unnecessary webs of gossip and more fiery flames of anger. Seeds take root, and strife abounds.
Choosing Love Over Gossip and Anger:
Love is the antidote to gossip and anger. When faced with the choice, let's choose to love one another unconditionally. By embracing love, we create an atmosphere where gossip struggles to take root, and anger finds no fertile ground. Love binds our small groups together and fortifies the foundation of our shared faith. Let us remember God’s commandment from Leviticus: “You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against any of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.” (Leviticus 19:18 NRSV)
The kids in our youth group experience gossip and anger almost on a daily basis within their middle and high schools. Sadly, it’s become a way of life in the secular world. I strive to provide each young adult a safe place where there is no gossip or anger within our group.
In our church’s adult small groups, where we seek spiritual growth and connection, gossip and anger pose significant threats. By understanding the potential harm these behaviors can cause and actively choosing love and open communication, we can protect the unity and harmony that make our small groups a haven for spiritual flourishing. Let's be vigilant, recognizing the signs of gossip and anger, and strive to cultivate a nurturing environment where our faith can truly thrive.
Embracing Solace
In the midst of the holiday season's hustle and bustle, the Methodist tradition offers a unique and contemplative space for those grappling with grief, loss, or simply seeking solace. The "Longest Night" special service, also known as Blue Christmas or Winter Solstice service, is a poignant expression of compassion and understanding within the Methodist community. Our “Longest Night” service will be held next week on Wednesday, December 20th, at 6:00pm. Not having ever experienced this type of service before, I wanted to look more in-depth into this service. Here are some highlights from my exploration!
Understanding the Longest Night Service
The Longest Night service is typically held on or around the winter solstice, the longest night of the year. Contrary to the jubilant celebrations of the Christmas season, this service acknowledges that not everyone feels the warmth and joy associated with the holidays. Many individuals grapple with personal losses, challenges, or a sense of loneliness during this time.
Creating a Safe Space
Methodist congregations embrace the essence of inclusivity by providing a safe and comforting space for those navigating difficult emotions. The service often takes place in a dimly lit sanctuary, creating an atmosphere of calm and reflection. Soft candlelight, subdued music, and thoughtful prayers contribute to the overall sense of peace and tranquility.
Acknowledging Grief and Loss
One of the core elements of the Longest Night service is the acknowledgment of grief and loss. Participants are invited to share their experiences, either through personal reflections or written prayers. This open dialogue fosters a sense of community and reminds attendees that they are not alone in their struggles.
Embracing Hope in Darkness
While the service addresses the pain and sorrow associated with the longest night, it also carries a message of hope. Readings and reflections often emphasize the promise of a new dawn, symbolizing the belief that, even in the darkest moments, there is a glimmer of light and hope. This balance of acknowledging pain and offering hope resonates deeply with those attending the service.
Music as Healing
Music plays a crucial role in the Longest Night service, offering a powerful means of emotional expression and healing. Hymns and songs are carefully selected to evoke a range of emotions, providing a therapeutic outlet for those in attendance. The carefully curated musical elements contribute to the overall contemplative and supportive atmosphere of the service.
The Methodist tradition of the Longest Night service is a testament to the community's commitment to empathy and understanding. By acknowledging the diverse emotional landscapes that coexist during the holiday season, this special service provides a sanctuary for healing and reflection. In the quiet moments of the longest night, Methodist congregations come together to create a space where individuals can find solace, share their burdens, and embrace the promise of a new dawn. I personally invite you to next week’s service - either as someone who experiences grief during this season, or as someone who can offer a “shoulder of encouragement” to those grieving.
No matter what you’re feeling this Christmas season, please know that you are loved by all of us here at NUMC, but more importantly, loved unconditionally by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Have a blessed and merry Christmas.
A Christmas Miracle
Christmas is the season of perpetual hope. There are miracles on 34th street, Grinches returning roast beasts, wonderful lives, and even ghosts. But just to show that anything can happen at Christmas, I’m going to do a real Christmas blog for once, and it’s even on one of my favorite Christmas songs.
If you want to listen to the song, you can click here to listen to it on spotify. Chris only used two verses in this recording but he nailed the feeling of the song with the two that he chose. The lyrics are:
O come, O come, Emmanuel,
And ransom captive Israel,
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear.Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
shall come to thee O Israel.O come, Thou Dayspring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here;
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night,
And death’s dark shadows put to flight.
Ok, I can fully admit that this is not the cheeriest Christmas song, but I really can’t think of a better Advent song. Advent is all about the waiting of Jesus to come. First it was about the second coming of Jesus and now has been tied together with the birth of Jesus. We often play the part of Ricky Bobby and just want to focus on the 8 pound 6 oz baby Jesus because it’s our favorite time of year and we can celebrate. But we miss the context of the 600 years of waiting from when Isaiah prophesied about the Messiah to his actual birth. Israel was conquered and exiled, their people scattered across the known world. The only hope the exiles had was for God to do something miraculous. Yet the miraculous didn’t happen. Not when they were exiled in Assyria or even when they were exiled to Babylon or conquered by the Persians and Greeks. It was 6 centuries, and dozens of generations before the promise was fulfilled.
The words of the first verse are referring to a literal time and place in Biblical history. It acknowledges that they were mourning, lonely and separated from where they wanted to be and that in that state the only hope is Jesus. This moves into the refrain of rejoicing because Emmanuel, God with us, is coming to Israel. I think most people take this line and in their heads it’s actual rejoicing, but for me it’s the head trying to convince the heart that it will be ok. It’s living in the messiness and despair of exile while clinging to a not yet seen hope which is perfectly seen in the second verse. If they have already rejoiced, why would there be a plea for God to have to cheer their spirits and disperse gloomy clouds?
Christmas isn't just a celebration of joyful moments but a recognition of the shadows that precede the light. It's about acknowledging the expanse of time, the generations that waited, and the faith that persisted through the darkest hours. The beauty of this song lies not only in its melody but in its portrayal of the human experience—waiting, longing, and holding on to hope against all odds.
Overflowing Gratitude
Overflowing Gratitude: Celebrating the Blessings of Family, Church, Community, and Each Other"
In a world filled with challenges and uncertainties, it becomes increasingly important for us to pause and reflect on the blessings that surround us, especially on this Thanksgiving Day. As followers of Christ, we are called to cultivate a heart of gratitude, recognizing the gifts that God has graciously bestowed upon us. Today, let's briefly remind ourselves of the amazing reasons we have to be thankful for our families, our church, our community, and each other.
Grateful for Our Families:
The family is a sacred institution established by God, providing a foundation for love, support, and growth. Every family is unique, special, and not without its own challenges at times. However, in the midst of our busy lives, it's crucial to express gratitude for the precious gift of family. Our families are the first communities we encounter, shaping our character and instilling values that guide us throughout life. As we gather around the dinner table, share moments of joy and laughter, or navigate challenges together, let us remember to give thanks for the blessing of family bonds that reflect God's unconditional love.
"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward."
-Psalm 127:3 ESV
Thankful for Our Church:
Our church is more than a physical structure; it is a living, breathing community of believers united in faith. NUMC becomes a second family, a place where we worship, learn, and grow in our spiritual journeys together. Expressing gratitude for our church involves recognizing the diverse talents and gifts that each member brings to the body of Christ. Through fellowship, prayer, and service, we strengthen our connection with God and with one another. It is a beautiful place where everyone is welcome.
"For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them."
-Matthew 18:20 ESV
Appreciating Our Community:
Beyond the church walls, our local community serves as an extension of God's plan for us. It's a place where we can share the love of Christ through acts of kindness, compassion, and service. As we engage with our neighbors and contribute to the well-being of our community, we reflect the light of Christ. Let's be grateful for the opportunities to make a positive impact, demonstrating the transformative power of God's love beyond just our church walls. We have done so many wonderful things for the local community already. This year let’s seek to do even more to be the light, life, and love of Christ to our neighbors.
"Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others." -Philippians 2:4 ESV
Gratitude for Each Other:
In the tapestry of life, every individual plays a unique and essential role. I know I am forever grateful to all of you. It has been a joy and privilege getting to know more and more of you during my time here at NUMC. Today, let us appreciate the people God has placed in our lives—friends, mentors, and even those we encounter briefly. Each person contributes to the richness of our experiences and the depth of our understanding. By expressing gratitude for each other, we create an atmosphere of love and encouragement that mirrors God's intention for community. I am truly grateful for every one of you.
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."
-Proverbs 17:17 ESV
As we reflect on the great blessings of our families, our church, our community, and each other, let us cultivate a heart of gratitude that overflows into our daily lives, especially today. In doing so, we honor God and bear witness to His love, creating a ripple effect that transforms the world around us. May our thankfulness be a testament to the goodness of our Heavenly Father, who richly blesses us in every season of life. Happy Thanksgiving, NUMC family!
Love
If you have been streaming The Chosen, you may recall a scene from Season 2, Episode 2 where Simon presses Jesus about the need for developing and documenting a clearer organization structure and better management and communications approaches with their growing ministry – all with the unstated, but obvious design of elevating Simon to a position of authority over the other disciples. (If you haven’t seen it, I have included a link at the bottom of this article.) Jesus – in a wonderful leadership lesson to us all – reveals his understanding of Simon’s true motives by first telling him how much he appreciates his attempts to make things better for the group, then reminding him he “could stand to be a little nicer sometimes.” I don’t think you will find this dialog in any translation of the Bible, but I can see it happening.
In fact, I have seen it happen here at NUMC. It ultimately led to an undesirable outcome for our church and caused me to stand before a town hall gathering of our congregation and make a promise that has defined my approach to church leadership from that day to this. My promise was to “think less about bringing what I have learned at my work to my church and more about bringing what I have learned at my church to my work.” The first step for me was to just be “a little nicer sometimes.”
I have spoken before about the concept of “core competencies.” It is a competitive business term that was originally coined to described something one company did better than any other in its market. It is that one product or service that sets the market standard and ensures competitive advantage for as long as it can be protected and maintained. In the minds of consumers, it is clearly associated with its brand – Coca Cola, Kleenex, Apple, Microsoft, Tesla, etc.
Did you know Christ declared a core competency for the church? He did. Look at John 13:34- 35.
“ 34 A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
The core competency of the church is love. Through Christ and by the power of His Holy Spirit, we can offer each other and the rest of the the world something no one else can – pure, unadulterated love. By that standard, the church should be widely regarded as the undisputed and leading purveyor of love in the world. So why isn’t it?
I believe the answer to that question can be explained using another business concept known as the “hollowing out” of a core competency. Hollowing out refers to one competitor’s ability to diminish another’s core competency by offering products or services that are better or very similar in nature, but better in other ways – cheaper, easier to get, etc. Think of companies, like Sears, IBM, Kodak, America On-Line, that have lost their core competencies to others, like Wal Mart, Apple, iPhone, Google. I believe many modern-day churches have allowed their core competency to be hollowed out by inferior substitutes for the love and acceptance the world around them continues to desperately seek. They, just like Simon and me, have often focused too much on protecting those aspects of our ministries we bring in from the world and less on being devoted practitioners of the Christian love and grace we can take into it. So people look elsewhere for love, too often after being hurt by our unwillingness to love them as Christ has loved us.
This was a key factor for me when I left church for nine years. I came back when I found a church that seemed to take seriously Christ’s command to “love one another, as I have loved you.” While we are not perfect here, we have at the very least committed ourselves to a vision of being Christ’s love to this community.
A few weeks ago, I began this three-part series by pointing you to the banners hanging on the eastern outside wall of our sanctuary. There are three of them and they read, “Light,” Life,” and “Love.” I explained that those banners describe the three elements of the NUMC church vision – “To be the Light, Life, and Love of Jesus Christ.”
A vision is simply a statement of WHAT we are working to BE. It offers a view of what we wish to become and what we hope to be known for in the community. As I said in the previous two articles on this subject:
“It is a leadership responsibility to articulate and cast a vision for the church, and it is our individual responsibility as members to interpret that vision in the light of what God is calling each of us to do to make it a reality. That can be a little challenging. What does it look like for a church to be the light, life, and love of Jesus Christ? It takes a lot of prayer, a lot of preaching, a lot of Bible study, a lot of service, and a lot of good discipleship to help us understand what the vision means to each of us and how it can inspire and energize our work. I am doing this series in the hope that sharing my personal understanding might make that challenge less daunting for some.”
My last two articles covered the first two elements of our vision – Light and Life. Today, I will complete the series with the third element, - Love. What does it take for us to be the Love of Jesus Christ to the world around us? I think He gave us the clear answer in verse 34, above – we must love them like He loved us. Jesus welcomed me into His family and allowed me to feel as if I belong there, before He ever asked me to change a single thing about myself. I believe the church that is Love will give others that same sense of belonging. It will:
Be open and welcoming to everyone. We don’t have to agree with people to love them. We don’t have to change them to love them. It will help a lot if we can untangle our politics from our mission to make disciples.
Always encouraging and helping those who need it. Our church has always been one to promote Christ’s love through social action. We acknowledge, as Christ did, the hurt and suffering that exists all around us and we commit ourselves to relieve it to the best of our ability. James 2:15-17 reminds us to love with both “works” and “faith.”
Build life-long relationships around small groups; Everyone should be able to find here family and friendships that last forever in trusting, discrete, and sensitive settings that promote growth, offer support for the difficult times we all face, and help us celebrate the blessings of God in our lives.
Give sacrificially; This may be the true test of our commitment to love others as Christ did. It was for Him. He gave everything so we could be reconciled to the Father, which is every person’s greatest need. While we find it difficult to give up our place in line at the supermarket, he threw off the privileges and comforts of Heaven to bring us back to God. There should be little we would not do to show someone the love of Christ.
Always choose compassion over judgement and seek to restore those lost to fellowship; Christ always looked upon the masses with compassion for the pain they endured because of their separation from God – not with the contempt we often feel for people who engage in behaviors we dislike. Let’s continue to recognize, whatever our levels of piety or depravity, we all need this Risen Savior and His redeeming love.
Bottom line - The church that is Love will be family for its community and it will love them like family. D.L Moody put it this way.
“Show me a church where there is love, and I will show you a church that is a power in the community. In Chicago a few years ago a little boy attended a Sunday school I know of. When his parents moved to another part of the city the little fellow still attended the same Sunday school, although it meant a long, tiresome walk each way.
A friend asked him why he went so far and told him that there were plenty of others just as good nearer his home.
“They may be as good for others, but not for me,” was his reply.
“Why not?” she asked.
“Because they love a fellow over there,” he replied.
If only we could make the world believe that we loved them there would be fewer empty churches and a smaller proportion of our population who never darken a church door. Let love replace duty in our church relations, and the world will soon be evangelized.”
Our vision reminds us that is the kind of church God wants us to be—A place where love replaces duty or structure or power or control in our relationships with others. A place where our true core compentency is love. A place where we can all be reminded to just “be a little nicer sometimes.”
Grace and Peace, my friends.
Scene from The Chosen - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhCPoQAYNu0